Living Arrows 11/52

When I looked at my phone this week I was really disappointed I didn't have more photos to choose from! I've been really focusing on photography recently and trying to take more, and better, pictures. So it was a little bit of a shame that the pictures I eventually chose for this week have both been on my Instagram feed (I'm cathybussey1 if you want to come say hi) and I didn't have a big pool of shots like I normally do.

We've all been very busy lately. Noel is frantic at work tying up lots of loose ends before he starts his new job and I've been flat out with various errands and general life admin, applying for passports for me and Violet, finally getting around to registering us with new doctors (we moved in November! NOVEMBER!) and various other bits of paper-based faff. I'm also working on a project until the end of April that's taking up all of the time I have available to work (and more besides). It should be my last project though, after this I have no more client work and I am not looking for more.

So life feels a bit like we are hurtling towards the end of some kind of era. It'll be the end of Noel working only four days a week, from May he will be back full-time and he will lose those Fridays with the children that he and they (and I) have so enjoyed. It will be the absolute end of me working as a freelance copywriter for the foreseeable future, and it all ends/begins with a trip to Singapore at the end of April! Exciting times, busy times, slightly scary times if I'm honest.

This week Cherry had two playdates with six different children. I have mentioned before we live in my brother's house (he and his family now live in Singapore hence our planned trip!) and I am beyond grateful for the space. It's a lovely house, with plenty of room for us to host and entertain, and I feel like I want to extend the generosity my brother has shown us to all of our friends and family. I want my house full of friends and family and the children's friends all the time! We live in an expensive part of the country and space is at a premium, thanks to my brother we are lucky enough to have a fantastic garden plus a wonderful and safe space at the front which includes a playground. I feel I want to share it with as many people as I can, so they can benefit from the simple gift of space and time outdoors with their children.

In that spirit we invited Cherry's current favourite little friend (and, I think, crush!) Harry L and his little sister to play, then a day later we had a playdate with some of her friends from pre-school and their younger siblings. It's been quite tiring I have to say, but amazing fun. I love watching Cherry with her friends and seeing her become a social being. She's very interesting, I think she is quite introverted (as in fact I suspect am I). She can perform and entertain beautifully and quite flamboyantly when she wants to but I think she draws her real essence and energy from time alone or time in smaller groups.

I am really fascinated as these sides of her self and her personality begin to emerge. I can't deny I do worry about Cherry, she's a very sensitive soul and socially she is probably behind many children her age, but I think this worry is normal. Certainly every parent I've spoken to this week worries about their child or one of their children in one way or another - for being not social enough, for being too sociable, children can't win really!

Violet, bless her, gets sort of stuck with the younger siblings of Cherry's friends at the moment! But her big love is Cherry anyway so wherever Cherry is, V wants to be. I am looking forward to watching her blossom as a social being too, I find her much more resilient and confident than her big sister, less passionate and vulnerable. They are such amazing girls, I am so glad to have them.

Here you are rocking your new t-shirt from Little Bird by Jools, which I absolutely LOVE. In fact I love this whole outfit and wish I could wear it too. I chose this picture of you because you look super-cool, just chilling out on your chicken. You are such a picture, miss Cherry, such a person.

And you, my little flower. Ah V. Aren't you just a little joy. I love your little curls in this picture, your hair is so amazing to me. When you were born you had loads of black hair, just like Cherry. But unlike Cherry, you then didn't grow any hair for nearly a year. You were pretty bald, bless you. Then all of a sudden you were a little blonde curly-locks! What a sight for sore eyes you are. 

Living Arrows 4/52 and 5/52

I'm late with these already! Where does time go? I had a meeting with some friends on Box Hill to discuss a really exciting cycling project at the end of January, all of a sudden it's practically mid-Feb and I realised I haven't even got back to them. Such is life with two children. The days used to be long and the years short, now the days aren't even long any more.

4/52

Little one. Aren't you just a joy, a treat? You might be back to your old tricks sleeping (or rather waking) but how can I hold it against you? Your favourite word at the moment is 'silly'. Everything is silly. 'Silly Derry! Silly mama! Silly At-dat!' (you can't say Violet yet) You're very physically adept, you've started running and even jumping! It always amazes me how much you can do. I find you do things very quickly, but I'm not sure how much of that is you being a quick little stick and how much of it is you having a big sister to copy. One thing's for sure, you're determined. You want to be doing EVERYTHING Cherry is doing and you won't let anything stop you. 

I really don't want to force my interests and passions onto you but I am so, so glad you love being outdoors as much as I do. You barely feel the cold, and as long as you've had enough to eat and drink (VITAL) you are the most energetic and outdoorsy little person. You can't spy a hill without running up it. We went to Box Hill for a breakfast picnic and all the way there all you talked about was running up the hill. Look at you go, mighty girl! This was also the day we heard the woodpecker in the woods, and the next day you came home from preschool with your own woodpecker made from a cardboard tube, a bit of paper and a pasta twirl for a beak. 

5/52

I couldn't resist snapping you playing at a lovely cafe in a nearby park. They have a gorgeous illustration on the wall and you were just in the right spot for the fox ears. You and your sister were SO funny, you charmed the entire cafe and had everybody in stitches with your antics. I love your dynamic, you're both natural entertainers and love an audience, and you can really spark off each other to put on a show. I lose count of the amount of people who are charmed and entertained, by you two. Sometimes people compliment your dad and I on your behaviour and I have learned to take these compliments at face value and smile. In truth they make me uncomfortable, you are both normal, healthy children with strong wills and very defiant streaks and I hate the idea that people would think you 'do as you're told' or any other behavioural values I don't want to nurture in you. You don't 'do as you're told' because I don't 'tell' you. I ask politely and you usually co-operate. Sometimes you don't, but we always work out a solution in the end. It's very different from you 'doing as you're told' although often to outsiders it can look that way. 

You really, really wanted to get your bike up that hill! It was hard work and the bike is quite heavy and the hill was steep and muddy. More than once you screamed that you couldn't do it, you howled with frustration, you fell onto your bottom again and again. But you got that bike up that hill. One of your defining characteristics is your persistence. You're like a dog with a bone, you find it hard to let go, give up and give in. You needed every ounce of that amazing persistence today. It's incredible to see you empower yourself like this and I had to distract myself with your sister to stop myself from rushing to your aid and taking your feelings and your moment away from you. 
After you'd hauled the bike all the way up to the top you decided to bring it back down again which was another tough physical challenge, but you were so pumped you picked the bike up and carried all the way across the grass to the pathway. Your whole body language had changed, you were as confident and powerful as an Olympic athlete doing a lap of honour. It's a privilege to watch these moments and bear witness to the making of a girl. 

Bringing creativity into my life

This year I want to become more creative.

I became a journalist primarily because I loved and excelled at writing, but the role of a news journalist is really to channel the voices and opinions of others. There is very little room for actual creative expression.

(As an aside, I find blogging surprisingly difficult, because I spent ten years being very proficient at removing all trace of myself, my opinions and my creativity from my daily output.)

It's probably no coincidence that since cutting dramatically back on work, I have found myself wanting to become more creative. When I'm being paid to write reams of content for clients, I don't really want to spend what little free time I have writing.

Creativity isn't exactly limited to writing - by definition, it's limitless. I have picked out a few areas in which I would like to become more creative this year.

They are

Writing
Might as well start with the obvious! I want to work on different types of writing and as a start have chosen to commit to a journal, this blog, and letter-writing to my family in Singapore. I am pondering adding short stories to the list, but that's probably enough writing for now!

Photography
God I love photography. I am not very good at drawing, so I have carried around for years the belief that I'm not 'arty' or can't 'do' photography. In fact I've always loved the concept of photography and been quite drawn to it, but lacked the confidence to actually begin to learn anything in earnest because 'I'm not arty'. Although once I thought about it one of the things I love so much about photography is it allows you to create art without having to draw anything yourself!

My home
Since moving into a family home I have come to understand that home-making is a skill and an art. A home can be functional and beautiful. A home can reflect the individual and collective personality of the people living within it. As a lifelong member of Generation Rent, until now my house has basically been where I put my stuff. It's only now that I have the freedom to make the house we are fortunate enough to live in, a home.

Working out
If I could I'd ride my bike for hours and hours every day. Unfortunately I have years to wait before my children are at school and such an ambition is feasible. Most days I work out in the house and there's not much I can do about that, but I can make the space I work out in more creative. I can also be more creative with my workouts in general rather than going through the same tired old motions.

My children
V is still a little young for true 'crafting' but Cherry loves cutting and sticking and painting and anything involving masses of mess and things that V shouldn't but always does end up putting in her mouth. They can however both decorate the s**t out of a cake, and V's pretty good at 'drawing', if by 'drawing' you mean sitting in her chair saying PAPER while eating Cherry's crayons and throwing stuff on the floor.

Meditation
I'm intrigued by the concept of creative meditations and adding visuals and other tools to the practice.

Connections
At the end of last year I took an introduction to massage course, which I will blog about another day. I learned a lot about myself during the five-week duration as well as much about the way in which we make connections. Human connections are far more than just verbal and massage is an entirely unspoken but deeply powerful way of making and nurturing connections. I'm excited to explore this more this year.

That'll probably do for now. I would love to hear any tips or recommendations for good learning sources on any of the above - particularly photography, as that's really dominating the list at the moment.